Pinned toot

⚠️ Church Announcement ⚠️

Dear Churchgoers,

The Elected Inner Sanctum Council is proud to announce its official account to be the voice of the church and its message. We hope that you enjoy this service and that you will follow along through our times of joy as much as in our times of hardship.

Joyfully,
Your Council

⚠ important church announcement ⚠

Dear Churchgoers,

Fuck TERFs
Awoo.church says trans rights

With rightful fury,
Your council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear Churchgoers,

We would like to welcome Mal amongst our midst. Are they a ghoul? A fiend? A werewolf? No, but all are welcome in the church! We can't wait to hear their voice resonate in the dinner hall.

With warmth,
Your Council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear Churchgoers,

We'd like to welcome back Xander among us. As an eldritch entity, they take not only many forms but they are also at many places. We are glad to see them *move* through our halls once again.

With joy,
Your council

⚠ Message from the Church ⚠

Lord Demon Azharkon has lost their kitten that goes by the name of something only translatable as Grkhf'dplv. The kitten was described to be 12 feet tall, have fur that seems to flow like it was in water and the meows of eons past. It does recognise its name.

Lord Demon Azharkon promises to not swallow the sun and plunge the world in eternal darkness as a reward.

Please help,
Your Council.

⚠ Message from the Church ⚠

The decade draws to a close, another chapter ends and the feather is dipped in fresh ink to scribble on a clean page. The Elected Inner Sanctum Council would like to wish every ghouls, eldritch horrors, vampires and other spooky creatures of the night, a wonderful new year. May the new year bring joy and health to you and your close ones.

With love,
Your Council

⚠ Message from the church ⚠

Although the holidays is a time of reunion and happiness, it is not always the case for all. Some ghouls go through hardship, some fiends go through loneliness, but we all find respite here together. The members of the council would like to tell you that we hope, when all seems to fall, you can come here and see this message and know you are loved and appreciated. You always have a seat by the fire at the dinner hall table.

Happy holidays
Your council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

It seems someone has opened the box of Dadoros. It's like the box of Pandora but it contains all the dad jokes of the universe. Please thread carefully in the halls as terrible jokes can be heard resonating in the walls and in your dreams.

Your council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

A group of disgruntled soccer moms came to the church today, asking to speak to our manager. Sadly, the council is composed of democratically elected members with no executive powers. Upon hearing this, the moms screeched in anguish and effectively imploded.

Problem solved?
Your council

⚠ Dear churchgoers ⚠

We know that there as been an issue with angry old ghosts in the church lately. The temporary solution offered by our Magic Security Committee is to use the magic formula "OK Boomer" at them and they'll go away for a while.

Thank you for your patience
The Elected Inner Sanctum Council.

⚠ Church Message ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

It's been pretty quiet here at the council, but we hope you have a very nice day still

With love
Your council

Weed mention 

⚠ Church Advertisement ⚠

Do you ever feel empty? Like there's a void inside of you and that there's nothing that will ever fill it, causing your mind to spin in existential dread? Come to the wandering corndog. I can help you satisfy the void inside your stomach for a low price starting at 5,99 AC (that's awoo coins). Please come to my stand near the boat rental shop at the Blood lake.

Don't let the void eat you alive

Abnar Al-Kazhim
Dark alchemist and owner of the Wandering Corndog

⚠ Church Warning ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

According to Ylave LePlancher, our upper level janitor, the fairies on the 3rd floor are "back on their bullshit again" and the floor is now literally lava. Please avoid at all cost.

A bit tired of this,
Your council

⚠ Church Reminder ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

There are, in fact, two wolves inside of you and they need to be feed and taken for walkies. Please don't forget!

Your council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

It seems someone finished the peanut butter and then put it back in the cupboard. We would kindly ask that you at least wash and recycle the pot when you finish it. Who are we kidding here, we know it's you Gregg, you always do that!

Honestly,
Your Council.

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

You might have noticed the strange man sitting in a corner of the dinner hall that's starring at everyone. We don't know who he is either and we're to afraid to ask. Hopefully he'll go away by himself.

Feeling creeped out,
Your council

⚠ Church Warning ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

Due to a necromantic incident, it seems that Karl Marx was brought back to life and that he is annoying everyone about dialectics and fur coats. We have tried to reason with him but he keeps screaming at us that he would ban us from the International. Please avoid the 3rd and 4th floor of the crypt until the issue is resolved.

With slight annoyance,
Your council

⚠ Church Reminder ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

We would like to remind every dragon residents and visitors to stack their loot piles according to the security standards established in the Grand Assembly of last year. This standard assures that no "pile collapse" incidents happen ever again. Here are some of the guidelines:

- stack big objects at the bottom to insure structural integrity
- gold should be in its separate pile
- do NOT stack live creatures

Carefully,
Your council

⚠ Church Announcement ⚠

Dear churchgoers,

We are glad to announce the reopening of the Church's Grand Library. We recall that it was set on fire several months ago due to someone saying a take that was way too hot. The Council would like to advise members to be careful with their hot takes around inflammable materials in the future.

With slight concern,
Your council

⚠ Church Advertisement ⚠

Are you looking for a getaway? In search of a new experience? Come to the Awoo Church! From the calm blood lakes of the Screaming Soul Forest to the high towers of Demon King Laimar, we will greet you and your close ones in our sanctuary. Necromantic workshops, dragon breath heated saunas ; we have it all! Reserve your room now and gain a free entry to a guided tour of the endless crypts. You will be howling for more!

Lanha Maiar
Spokesperson of the touristic committee

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Awoo Church

An instance for pagans, insomniacs and all creatures of the night.