Pinned toot

how i cw stuff 

yes I'm a girl
yes I want to be burt reynolds when I grow up
we exist

@myconidiosyncracy
"be yourself" like no bitch myself is an anxiety pile wrapped in self esteem issues and with a dash of good old fashioned depression, I will NOT be myself cuz I want this person to like me. imma be burt reynolds everybody fuckin loves that guy

When people use the term snowflake unironically, just remember they're quoting Fight Club, a satire written by a gay man about how male fragility causes men to destroy themselves, resent society and become radicalized. and that Tyler Durden isnt the hero but a personification of the main character's deep insecurities, and that his snowflake speech is a dig at how fascists use dehumanizing language to breed loyalty from insecure people.

genital ment 

re: a joke i'm sure has been made b4 

a joke i'm sure has been made b4 

a joke i'm sure has been made b4 

every time any of you who i know live near me post something about being up too late or whatever, know that it physically Pains me not to reply "heh guess ur sleepless in seattle lmao". every time.

Having trouble in your dating life? Try one of these tricks!
Consider dating the whine of cicadas!
That's all i got

A hearty "fuck you" to past me, who thought it reasonable to leave present AND future me with only 4 hours sleep

When god closes a door he opens a window and that's why we aren't sharing a flat anymore

“When you add heat to a pickle, amazing things happen”

-John Pickleman, entrepreneur/visionary/CEO of HotPickle LLC

I just hooked up with this girland she asked me to grab her chapstick and I noticed it was burts bees and all I could think about was that time people here said burt fucks the bees and then without thinking i said "hey did you know burt fucks the bees?" please help

<Makes tea.> Ahhhhhh.

Hello caffeine my old friend,
I've come to talk to you again
Because lethargy's soft creeping
Has me fit for naught but sleeping
And the need that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Witness my need, for caffeine

i'm incredibly proud of you for taking care of ur emotional health and, through years of struggle, and even despite the extra exhaustion imposed by capitalism, figuring out how to do ur chores and like, take care of ur physical health. but also fuck you

crying every time is named for me, trixie, because im girl

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Awoo Church

An instance for insomniacs, night crew and other creatures of the night.