most of you probably aren't old enough to remember when wil wheaton was here

in the long, long ago, shrouded now by the mists of time

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you see, back in those days mastodon was all on post it notes that we had to mail back and forth to each other

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we were more innocent then. we notice, for example, that the words vape and ape rhymed and that would be our meme

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and so it came to pass that wil wheaton came among us. a haughty man was he, brash and full of what in those days was called clout

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now in those days it was customary to tell what were called 'bofa' jokes. the goal was get someone to ask what bofa was, then you would say it was balls and laugh, that was the style at the time

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now one day it so happened that Wheaton the Haughty was told such a joke and so confused was he by the bofa ,that he torn his garments and cried out to the heavens - was this harassment?

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alas, for Wheaton but it was not harassment. it was a bofa joke. and lo, the people did scorn and mock him for such were his just deserts

and so the Wheaton left the realm of Masto never to be seen again

some say he sailed away to a dark realm called Byrdsight

others says he shriveled up into a twisted creature who still lurks among us

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the truth may never be known to us. but legends say one day the Wheaton will return to wreak his revenge

on the day of the Ragnarickroll

here ends the tale...

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@taweret if he had just said “damn! You got me!” and laughed about it he could have stuck around. But famous people are delicate. He wrote a very long self-serious blog post about it.

@taweret Chara has something to say :o

🔴 I helped drive Wil Wheaton off when he was here but if he comes back to wreak revenge I'll be cheering it on

@taweret Nigh have we had such fun since that time a man searcheth the Fediverse far and wide for a man that he doth admired so much, but could not find hide nor hair of his legendary hero, William Shatner. And lo, how we laughed at the fury this man had that he would write a full article claiming we had crossed the river Styx.

@taweret my favorite piece of trivia about Wheaton is that he gets really embarrassed by the song stand by me. He hates it

@Red in fairness i hate that song too. mainly because my like fifth or six grade choir teacher made us sing it and it made me hate it forever. also wind beneath my wings

@Red I occasionally break out into "Beautiful Girls" when I sing it and have to remind myself wrong song... :kirby_walk: @taweret

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Awoo Church

An instance for pagans, insomniacs and all creatures of the night.